It’s rough being both a night owl and a morning person.
On one hand, I relish the peace and promise of the morning, and on the other hand, I crave the depth and darkness of the night. Both are times when my creativity soars and I can imagine that I have the world all to myself. (No offense to, like, other people and stuff. I’m just an introvert; being alone is my jam.) Honestly, the afternoon hours are the ones I dislike the most; if I could hit the fast-forward button from approximately 1 pm to 5 pm each day, I’d be totally set. Reading an engrossing novel until 2 or 3 am? Yes, please. Sipping coffee with the sunrise? Count me in. Anything at 3 pm? No, no, and no. I’ve found some ways to lessen the sting of this long, harrowing trek from lunch to dinner (such as drinking lots of water and tea or taking a quick yoga break), but it’s still by far the worst part of the day. Perhaps we Americans could take it a step further and jump on the siesta bandwagon? Is that a political issue we could all get behind? #adultnaptime2k16
Anyway, so here I am, running on a grand total of 4 hours and 15 minutes of sleep, actually enjoying an early-morning writing session before work. My eyes are a bit puffy, and my mind is a tad slow, but the stillness and solitude are totally worth it. The reason that I was out so late last night was that I attended a concert in Indianapolis with my mom and sisters–although it might be more accurate to say that we kind of attended a concert, or that we attempted to attend a concert. First, we arrived at the outdoor venue only to find that the show was being postponed indefinitely due to the severe thunderstorms in the forecast. Then, although there was hardly a drop of rain during the entire 2-hour delay, it started pouring once the concert finally began, and lightning struck in the distance. So we stayed for a bit and then headed out before the final act.
But despite everything, I had a truly wonderful time, and I don’t think the enjoyable experience was an accident, either. I consciously tried to avoid my knee-jerk response of worry, regret, and negativity and react in a more positive and productive manner. Instead of panicking about how late the show would start or whether we would get caught in a bad storm on the drive home, instead of beating myself up for not monitoring the weather more closely or calling the venue ahead of time, instead of mourning the loss of the money we spent on the tickets or the time we spent waiting, I tried, as my therapist would say, to “let the journey unfold.”
Although this mantra sounds like one of those cheesy phrases you might find printed on the inside of a Dove chocolate wrapper, it’s also one of the hardest things anyone has ever challenged me to do. I don’t want things to happen to me–I want to happen to things! I don’t want to go with the flow–I want to be the force driving the current! I don’t want to “let the journey unfold”–I want to make checklists and itineraries and read reviews on TripAdvisor first!
But when we arrived at the venue and were informed of the delay, I saw disappointment creep across the faces of my two younger sisters and realized that I would play an important role in determining how the rest of the night would go. I could react how I normally did and plant the seeds of worry and negativity in those around me, or I could try to relax and look on the bright side and hope that ease and gratitude would flourish instead. Wanting to choose the latter, I smiled at them and said, “Well, there’s not really much we can do to change the situation. We’ll simply have to let the journey unfold.” I said this with a hint of sarcasm, poking fun at my own propensity to whip out the cheesy mantra at every opportunity. But I also said it as a serious reminder to myself to let go of things I can’t control (like the weather) and focus my energy on the here and now, come what may.
And you know what? It wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies–we saw about an hour total of the show, missed the main headliner, paid twice as much as we were expecting for parking, and may have ruined a few pairs of shoes–but as I mentioned earlier, we had a darn good time overall. While we waited, we munched on the snacks we had packed, played the Head’s Up app on my sister’s phone, and generally distracted ourselves with talk and goofiness. And once the show finally started, we sang and danced and let the rain soak us through and smear our make-up and ruin our hairdos. It turns out that the great thing about living in the moment is that, bad or good, comfortable or uncomfortable, you only have the that moment to be concerned about. You don’t have to re-live all the ugly things that happened in the past or anticipate all the potential disasters that could arise in the future. You can focus on appreciating the joys and dealing with the troubles of the present–and the present only. Letting the journey unfold can be scary and unnatural at first, but it can also be incredibly rewarding and freeing.
So there you have it: morning reflections on late-night adventures. I’ve got to leave for work now, but who knows? Maybe if I take things one moment at a time, even 3 pm today won’t be so bad. 🙂